Fuckeroos

Weekend's here finally. Can't stand the bitchiness of the boss for the past few days. It's really driving me insane. Went off to watch Indiana Jones and it sucks. Fucked up i tell you.

Then head down and had vodka-coke. Didn't help much.

Smsed and called you but no response. Adds to my misery. Oh well.

God, please damn that fuckface.

And yes ev, I still love you a lot. Don't get pissed with what i'm doing. I'm single now. I can do whatever fuck i want. Didn't you say it for yourself too??

And fuck you fuckface.

Escape

I really wish i could say "Whatever" to everything and it'll be all okay for me. Apparently, it doesn't work. 

Dang.

With my LesPaul resting on my thighs, i'm goring away to all the frustration away and still, it didn't cease in any way.

Dang.

I'm beginning to think that you find commitment a chore. So i guess i like chores. In a way, you're calling yourself a chore to me. 

Sometimes, the things you say or do, it's really what the fuck. 

Ha. Let's just see what happens next yea. Many things can happen in a day.

I need a massage. For my tired soul.

Is there such a thing? 

Bleh.

I still miss you. :)

Morning Madness

I liked the smoke and talk we had. Really, the alcohol hasn't much effect on me. I'm talking straight from my heart and not listening to anything that my friends are saying. Because they DO NOT know how i really feel about you and what we have shared. 

Thanks for wanting to come down despite the wee hours ev. 

And thanks for clearing matters out too. 

Being a friend with you is difficult without me trying to fall in love with you again and again.

I wanna start a new chapter with you too. Being there for you like how i've always been. 

Neither would I hinder any future plans you have for yourself to get a great career!! :)

You're really my wonderland.

I Miss You.

MidTerms

June is finally coming and i think i'll make some mid-year resolutions. 

I'm gonna really try to sell as much as i can. And without compromising any time for my friends or chances to meet new people. 

And i must forget that April and May of 2008 never existed.  :)

I've decided to just wait till you ask me out or initiate anything. Asking you out always is "we'll see how okay? "

Fine. I'm gonna start my acoustic seriously come June. With who..i hope to find someone soon.

And maybe i could just fall in love with that person. :)

Adieu my lovely friend.

I Say Hey!!

Great day at work today despite the boss being extra bitchy. Damn him. 

Pretty much busy the whole day but i kept thinking of you still. :) Perhaps unknowingly, you motivate me. I didn't have a craving for the chocolate hazelnut cookie really. I just wanted to get one for you 'cause you love it and i think it'll cheer you up a bit. :) 

(The cookie's nice though.)

And yea. I'm really planning to do acoustic stuff with you. Because i still feel a connection. 

Be it you singing or drumming. As each day pass, i tried to move on. But my heart still tells me you're the one. You're the one i wanna have kids and have fun and share my whole life with. You're the one that i wanna rollerblade, suntan, sing songs, shopping, coffee,, lovely meals and many others more with. 

Oh well, Let's play badminton soon ya!! 

My heartbeat goes Ev-Va  Ev-Va  Ev-Va.

Kids be Gone

Hello everybody!!

I'm sitting at Raffles City Spinelli's right now and the mood is simply relaxing. Like i'm in some kind of hot tub with apple fragrance.

Yea right. Hah

So anyways, i've quit the band. Totally. And i'm certain that i really can't commit that much anymore. As of lately, though i love heavy metal, i'd rather much produce melodramatic songs. No. Not emo. Acoustic kinda stuff. Like duets kinda thing. I so need to get a good vocal and instrument mike. Can't wait to get 'em!! (Oh yea..thanks for the coffee and cookies ev!!)

I'm trying to piece up an instrumental piece and a bossa-blues-hard rock kinda stuff. Fusion they say. Well..whatever. It sounds good really. Working in a music store helps a lot in practice time. :) Yea! And the Yamaha SA 2200 rocks boy!! 

I wish i could just teleport that guitar off to my room!! It sounds so freaking sweet!! 

Last night i had a dream i made a sale worth $100,000!! Haha!! If only.

May's coming to an end and i hope i could do better for June. Aim's to get one song done with lyrics and achieve better sales. :) Really love my job man. Couldn't ask for more at the moment.

My workmates rock too! Hah!

The boss is still questionable though. As usual.

And you. My bestest friend. I wish you all the best in whatever you decide okay?

I still love you in many different ways. They are certainly treasured. The memories.

:)        :)         :)

Open Doors

I saw you smile today. A real one. And you don't know how happy i am. :)

You have no idea how much your smile means to me. And the glimmer in your eyes are such beauty that really melts me.

I love you like this. Thank you for letting me romance you. Thank you for letting me display my love for you.

:)         :)            :)          :)

I sang a song for you. Leaving it on your voice message. But you forgot you password. It's okay.

Thanks for calling me back. I sang it better knowing you are hearing it. Right there.

Waiting for you to end work today was nostalgic. Thank you for letting me wait. :)

I enjoyed it. Being able to glance at you now and then. Thrills me. Totally. 

I Miss You.

Glimmer

I can't wait for pay day. I seriously can't!! Been pretty much starving lately but thanks to a kind soul who provided me food. :)

I'm trying to think neutral but i can't. I'm sorry. I'm still attracted to you.

I hope someone could just plaster smiles on my face everyday. Like how you did before. 

Ain't gonna say much today. I miss you.

ChuggaChuggaCHugga

Spent the whole day at home cept later in the evening when i went for coffee alone and wrote my emotions down on our journal. Quite a lot really. Though the coffee didn't help my hunger. I tried asking you whether you could get me food. It seems hard. No money. Well, same here. 

Said your mum's cooking and i was happy that you offered me some of 'em. Thanks a lot. Saved my day. 

We promise not to bring up the sensitive subject anymore. And i'll do my bestest best. :)

I hate to talk about it as much as you do. You say it's clearing out. I hope it is to. S'been driving me insane really. Which is where all those rantings came from. 

Band meeting last night kinda went.. okay. Sorry. I wasn't really into it. I told you why. I hate bringing up the incident. Had to. Apologies. Friday it is. Our rebirth. 

Nostalgic? I'm not too sure man. Gotta see how it goes. Hopefully well.

May's ending. Mid-year is here. God damn fast man!! Hope i get to hit my sales target. Bonus!!

Yahoo!! I need inspiration man. Gimme some!! 

Anyway sweetie, 

Till Death Do Us Part.

Arrowed And Nailed

Pretty much chilled out with the new fellas at work today. Cool. With their different perspective in anything we viewed in life. :) A great cuppa nevertheless. 

It's really hard to let a person, especially someone you love so much, go. Despite all the hurt inflicted, i just assured that it would come down to just another obstacle in a relationship.

In love, there's trust, security,intimacy,joy and of course freedom of individual. 

That is why i can't let go. Not that i refuse. I just can't. As i've seen you in all my future dreams and plans. You're practically, perfect in my eyes. I've never loved anyone so much before. And i don't believe i could with another person. And i don't think anyone can really really love you as much as i do. I'm not contemplating anything here. But with all that has happened, i'm sure you know it well sweetheart. 

Sure. You say you know how much i love you. That's true. But, you don't know how much it actually weighs. I could handle the relationship well. It's tough. But it aint a chore. I see you as part of me therefore you are my responsibility too. 

To put it this way, i'll be there when you're sick, happy, sad, confused and every other emotions you're feeling.

One thing i promise is i'll definitely show a lot of affection towards you. As that is what you really need to feel secure and loved. I'm sorry i didn't display much. Now i realised. And it's not too late.

I. Simply. Love. You.

Cheat COdes

Hell-o. 

I wonder what does it take to manage a relationship? Patience? Check. Trust? check. Security? Maybe. HAh. What the hell. Hell it is for me. Wasted? Not really. I treasured the moments for sure. Love is undefined. 

And i can't bear to hate. It's unexplainable why i just can't. I guess that love. True Love for someone really dear. Though it's hard not to get reminded of all the first times and joyous occasions, i guess i should be lucky i was spending those with you and not someone else. 

To picture your smile, it's painful and sad yet at the same time, it brings a smile to me. How weird it is. How weird it is. 

In the past, i never believed in Love. Never ever. Till i met you. Through your charismatic ways, your charming flashes of smiles, your humourous antics your passion for someone you love. It blew me. Blew me past the universe. A whole new world i'd say.

Oh and oh, how i was so foolish. One can't buy time but one can sacrifice time. And i stopped. All of my childish antics to be someone responsible. To protect and to love. Sacrifice. A hell lot.

A hell hell lot. But..it's all totally unconditional. I only expected trust and love in return. 

Yea. Sure. Well..i didn't regret anything. At least now i know i can really handle a relationship. At least she taught me how to show love. Care. Concern. In health, sickness, anger, whatever. 

She taught me that two people in love is pretty much everything you need to end your day with a joyous smile. A hug. A simple kiss. That's pretty much i need at the end of a hard days' at work. 

I love you. I love you. I love you. And you know it. 

Despite all the mistakes you've done.. it's all just mistakes. You're human. With feelings. Everyone has. It's part and parcel of a relationship. I guess? 

But to be hurt over and over again... it takes a lot to swallow it all. I know i did. 

Love for her pulled me through my promotion at work. Love for her made me think of wise decisions. Love for her made my smiles. 

Love for her. Made Me.

Cheat Codes

Hell-o. lalaa