Achtung!

Have a good life people.


Blog aborted.

Idiocracy

Gonna be driving around tomorrow!! WOohoo!! Just what i needed. Air breezing through my face. Gonna be loving it. Yes!!
And friday is a coming! Let's go Milly! For iceblended chittychatty!

Work today was okay i think. I ws just too darn sleepy during the day. Watched Dvds till late. Serves me right. :p
Who cares?! Whaha. And im like hungry all the time today. Damn. Oh well. :)

Alright. Here it is. I chose to wait for you despite what you did. And i regretted it. So yea. I should have ust walked away then. But now here you are telling me over and over you're hoping we would get back together.
Why? What for? You made a decision then. So be it.
Live with it.

Too bad.

And i know you best. Yes. You don't see the deeper meaning in it.
He won't last long with you or vice versa. It's so clashing.
Opposites attract? Fuck you.

Now you're stuck with someone who hasn't much shit 'bout your musical interest. And your goth interest. And your morbid humour. I love it all. He hates it all. Too bad.

And now, i've solved your confusion and dilemma. You don't have to choose anymore. I'm far away. And gone. And not like your previous attachments i'm really gone. Not even a smoke session. Yes. I live god damn near. Too bad.

I don't care for what you care on what i used to care when you didn't care.

Screw you.

Scrabble

Hate those who speak or rather try to speak with a fucking fake accent. "tryin to speak properly" they say. Well...fuck you.
Speaking properly doesn't equates to speaking with an accent.
Just speak normally with the correct grammar. That's it.
Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you.

It's Goddamn bloody irritating and yea okay, it's not supposed to be of any concern to me but fuck you anyway.
If you're a blardy Mat, you can't escape it. If you're a Mat and born chinese, then you have been fucked. Too bad for you that all the subsidies aren't in your por favor le senor.

If you don't smoke and can't stand smokers then fuck off. Don't tell people not to. If we are fated to die, we WILL die. If you can't stand sarcasm and profanities and foul language to the extreme, too bad and fuck you too.

Fuck the way you speak. Urgh. You fucking chink-mat mixed-up bitch.

Smeared

Gonna be renting a car on Monday!! Woooooo!!
My off day like finally.
Weekend's here and i have no idea why or what am i so happy about either.
Work has been really mundane. Dulllllllllllll.......

It's all good. September's just another boring month. October here i come!! Bonus and ERS money!! WooHoooo!! Damn!! I might just get a new acoustic guitar. Yahooo!!

And er Ev's a real bitch. So yea.
Fuck you.

Later!

Tired And Inspired

Payday has arrived but not much joy in it in the end. Hah. Fucked up.
Gonna shop a lil soon. Need to get some stuff to make me look hotter. Whahah!!
Yes. I'm shameless like that.

Anyway, i'm really stuck in bewteen now. One way this. One way that.
I do not have any source on inspiration to accomplish anything at all. No. Not even Milly.
Yea. She's interesting and fucking funny but. No. She isn't my source. Neither am i trying to woo her or shit. Just a great buddy. Well i hope on that either.

Got new riffs and i hope i could work something outta that.
And made a practice jam clique with jon, ian and ting. Pretty cool. And nostalgia all over again. Guiding them to rock out in jamming studios. Hah. Oh well, it's my pleasure. :)

Gota thank my diary seriously. Read all the past entries in it and i realised i got more stable, emotionally, than before. And it's great. Well, better at least.

You're funny. IN a weird way.

Pulps In A Cup

Smiles and more smiles each day. Hmm..I wonder i wonder.
What would the following month hold? An ending for a new beginning?
Hmm..A sight to behold i hope.
Days seem to calmly pass by and so much i still am wondering about.
:) It's all just jovial-ism now. I don't care who the fuck you are or what the fuck you are.
As long as you ain't in my circle. It's Fuck You to you.
Wahahha!!

I gather that most people are just plain ol' typical and predictable and "yea..sure".
Open-minded they say. Pui. You bitches know nuts about open-mindedness.
Hence perhaps that's why my clique ARE my clique. And that we can't stand anyone who's out of it. Call me an arrogant bitch all you want.
I'm just more cool than you bitches are.
Hah.

You dumbasses know deep inside that caring for yourself first is always a safe bet in the end.
And time after time, you still don't wanna learn. And you go around blaming others when nobody asked you to do so much for anything for anyone. Plain stupid. Admit it.

C'mon typical boring people. Have fun. Enjoy life. You're all still so bloody young. What about trying to look and impress with one's maturity. IF you then you are. But don't overdo it and restrict yourself and trying to act cool. And pointing to those of your age being so playful and shit. You are just a boring ol' bugger. That's about it. And that those 'playful' ones are realy the winning side because we know we are only young once and we shouldn't get all to serious if we know we shouldn't be. There'll be a time to settle down and right now is SO NOT the time.

Fuck your 'i'm mature and grown-up now". Screw you. Go hang out with all the boring people then. Take them with ya. Sheesh.

Bitch me. Yea. Sure. "Are you sure TRav's 24?"

Hell yea i am. And i so love enjoyin my life now. My work is god darned privileged with the hours and the money i'm getting. Yes. I'm not a bummer. I may not have a so-called respectable job but it pays me well enough for everything i really need.

Man. What a turnaround ever since i met you.

You freakazoid. :)

Wii

Been rocking to Guitar Heroes of late!! Woohoo!! And Rock Band as well!! Double woo!!

And meeting and chilling and gaming and coffee and movies and bingo and story-composing and chats and randomness with her. Awesomezz as we say. /m/

Man. She's really just like me. Random and jovial and humourous and laugh-a-minute kind. 

S'crazy. 

Someone can't seem to take it in well. Whahah.

Things seem to get better every passing day. Like in every direction. Woohoo!

Loving it. Can't wait to go out with her again. 

Love it when you pinch your fingers together and go "what the fuck".

:)

(i wrote most in my diary. Ha.OOps.)

Depressed buttons

Had to unexpectedly work today and suprisingly, time really flew by. I'm so thankful for that.
Chilled out after work and really had a nice time sharing and bitching over an iced mocha! Woooo!! And in she texted me in between which totally got me crazy! Wahhaa!

And Eva went mad for a bit. The usual stuff. Haha! She's funny that way.

Anyway, still have some shit at work that i really hope to settle soon. Damn. Can that stupid bitch just fucking collect her guitar and make me breathe easy!!?!! Argh!! Damn her.

Anyways (part ii), can't wait for payday!!! i really have to buy new tops man.. Fuck.
And talking bout it doesnt help. I can't wait!!! Argh!! 2 weeks to go!!

:P

You're so spontaneous and hilarious.
Damnations.

Damnations. The word we share. :)

Millions & Millions

Have a sudden nostalgia about my old band DollTrash. Been listening to the old recordings and really got me back to the times then. Oh well. Good times..Good times.
I really had fun then with all the performances and attention we got. Real cool stuff i must say.
And till today, i still get some random people telling or asking me about DollTrash. It's really wow. Our music DID spread. :)
Thanks a lot to all of you really.

And honestly, i have to thank Eva for this because you really were the main reason why i stayed through the band and writing new stuff each session. It was really my desire to your drumming improve which is why the riffs gets harder each time. And i truly saw your remarkable progress now. (though i really fucked you up real bad in the studio but i guess now you knew i meant well).

And i guess i kinda faded away because of clashes in certain areas not related to the band but undoubtly will cause tension no matter how professional we are. It's just a case of "Too BAd".
Thank you all for always complimenting my songwriting but really, i do not wish for that all the time. I rather have you all have some critcisms on it and input your influence as well. Not once did i even hear "this song sucks trav."
So i had to resort to be by myself and writing for my own where i have no one to blame and no one to stop me from changing my style.
And also turbulences along the way. All the personal problems and commitments just drove each other apart and the musical differences that started to creep up.

It all just comes down to..

"Oh well.."

Skip.

Have had a lift in my spirits lately due to unexpected responses. Although i am not expecting some fairytale to come true but at least it's really making me smile and wonder endlessly.
And the fact that i actually missed her made it more enticing.
Strange. Why do i feel this way?
Pals tell me i like her that's why.
Yes i do but not in that i-wish-she-was-my-gf kind of way.
I guess because she's quite a mystery that keeps me on my toes.
So unique. So jovial. So unpredictable.

I've caught millynitis.

Refurbished

A day and night out we had and what an awesome time it was!! Totally made full use of the pretty white vehicle called the honda jazz. :)
A lot of thanks to Ian for being our 'signaller'!! I dunno what we'll do without you!! Argh!!
And of course ahem, my skillful driving. :P
It was really awesome fun man! With all that food stuffed and the hot air that made us so sticky and the music we headbanged and the pictures we dangerously posed. WHahha!!
So gonna have another go again!

Anyway, i'm smitten over someone right now. I totally forgot about this feeling and it's really making me fidgety but at the same time, i'm thrilled with the suspense. :)
Ice cream never tasted better. :)

A butterfly soared

Hello everybody!! :)

A rather busy day for a tuesday. Not too tired for coffee with an ol' buddy at least. Yay! :)
Stayed over at ian's place last night and i was in sweet dreamland as soon as i closed my eyes.With ian just starting on his love project. Hah. Somehow, parquet flooring is so god damn comfy to sleep on. And i love your overhead shower. Just like mine at home but only with a heater for yours. Love it!

Just as well, i haven't been home for two weeks and finally i'm back here. Don't feel too good about it though.
Thank you all for acomodatiing me for the pst 2 weeks. It's been really swell! Appreciate it!!
Thank you madam especially!! :)

Ice cream & chocolates are really happy food man. And they are like sleeping pills to me too. Awesome. And having them with a bitching partner is even better!! A hot one would be a bonus. Wahah.

My debt's are almost settled. Feel such a relief. Thank you all for your kind patience and understanding. :)
Which is why i'm kinda broke already. Damn. I'll jus have to do the usual of waiting for payday again. Whah. I think the coming month's pay would be fantastic! Wooo!!

Gonna be renting a car on monday for a drive out with jon, ian and ting! Yahoo!
I hope Ting would just drive all the way. Whah. Sometimes i'm really sick of being the god damn driver. Ahah. Well, i hope the month would go well. Especially for my sales. Need the money to live my dreams of getting a record out!! Woohoo!

Haven't wrote in my diary for a while now. Haven't had my personal time outside. And i love writing it over a nice mocha and smokes. :) And a chocolate truffle!!!! Oh man!!
Fucking love it when it just melts in my mouth. And sipping more chocolate to down it is even whacked!! Wooo!!

Okay then.

Fuck this world anyway. Ha.

Title Chaser

Celebrated Ev's birthday with a BBQ over at her uncle's place. Well, my intention was to just go and stuff my myself with all the food  (delicious it was!!) and i got it. Hah. Sorry babe for not helping out with anything 'cept to fill my stomach. Hah! YEs. I know i'm an asshole. That's why i'm so adorable. Whaha.

Well, last night was nice. And like i said, it's really fun to have a friend for a sleepover especially when one can't sleep and just end up chit-chatting till we snooze away. And the fun of having random chocolate-eating at 3am was damn chillout. :)

That's why i hate to go home. And your place is the place where i really most comfy in. 

I guess it's a little complicated now huh. That's okay. 

And sweetestheart, i really am moving on and i'm not flaring up at anything anymore. I'm sure you can tell that i'm in a better mental state now. I'm really fine. I just care for you because you're my soulmate. As simple as that. :) Chill. As i always say. 

Speaking of pals, Ian & Jon have been really great and crazy. Which helps a lot in blending with them to be stupid. Hah. They have problems of their own but yet we laugh it all off. Well, we try. Hah. Coffee and smokes and bitching really gets us away from the fucked up reality.

And another one member i wouldn't dare to forget. Ting Ting!

Although i got to know her from way back in '06, we didn't really got a chance to discover our evil bitching capabilities. And how our gossips makes the queue in the bank feels short. Hah.

You're a great person. And that glitter in you always makes me crave for ice-cream at the moment. Weird. 

Can't wait for payday!!

Toffee Nut Crap

Coffee was great with the great people just now. Not the regular bunch this time though. :)

Shared quite bit. And had lotsa great laughs. :)

Can't believe the time passed so fast. Damn.

It has been really great these days. Not much of a worry at all. And the idea of not being committed to any dumb fuck is just so awesome. :)

A saturday night it is and so bustling in town. Yet i feel so calm.

What exactly IS this wonderful feeling?

Oh well. i'm not complaining. Hah.

I love everyone out there. 

They are all funny in their own ways.

Beware of Low Ceiling

Hello beings.

I'm thoroughly convinced that nobody is really fully trustworthy of their words/actions.

At some point, one way or another, they are are just simply fucked up. You, me and the rest of the world. So much for being nice to each other. I realised it just doesn't pay off. The dividends isn't exactly fair in a sense. 

What's wrong with a cup of coffee together and having just plain chit-chat? If you're so insecure about it, whether you gimme that stupid excuse of being misunderstood, i shan't attempt to do anything like that anymore to your princess. 

Anyway, what's the deal with virginity these days? Are they of any importance? I did think it was pretty special. And how you lose it depends how special it is. 

At least for that moment.

I kinda am angry bout it now. NOW. Yes. I actually treasured it a lot which is why i was very hesistant with my previous partners. 

And now i lost it. Although i lost to to someone i really loved and that it went pretty well, it's gone. She's gone. And i lost my 'special' value to a trashy person.

Whatever sweet shit you said and promised me back then came to just bull.

But i don't care now. I do not give a single hoot to whatever other people say anymore.

I'm sick of being mr.nice guy and swallowing all my pride over and over again.

I'm sick of being ever so patient with people over and over again.

I'm sick of listening to repetitive crap and cover-ups about acts they did.

I'm sick of it all but i'm accepting it and i think it's all just too funny.

The way they move sleekly and hide their motives behind words and smiles and assurance.

It's so whatever. If you wanna do it, just do it and get it on with life. Why waste so much time going through one helluva round? 

Hah. What a crazy deceptive world. I simply love it. 

It's so interesting at how people behave sometimes. 

And the seven deadly sins lives on.

Nobody can avoid it. Not even the toughest one.

You will still fall. 

Fuck your conscience. Fuck your pledges. Fuck your promises. Fuck your hollow words on a screen. 

Screw the insecure boyfriends. They are ever so annoying and disruptive. Live with it that your gal's a hot stuff and that they are more interesting than you are. We are more envious of your fucking luck more than anything else in any case or question you wanna bring up.

I love this deceptive world where everyone is hiding something at every point of time. :)

Hollow body

Yes. I know. This blog hasn't been updated.

I've been writing in my diary as i've mentioned.

In any case, since i'm here.

Things have been pretty okay. In fact, more than okay!!

Been having lotsa fun activities. :)

Too lazy to describe what. As long as i'm having fun, why do you care?

Hah.

And er.. Good luck to me!!

Knock Knock

I've got a diary now which means blogging hasn't been my priority. 

Well, it has never been really. Hah.

Anyway, things have been okay. Just okay.

And i keep forgetting things and it kinda spooks me a lil.

And i hate bus rides alone because it gets me thinking bout shit that i hate.

Oh well, i'm really really trying to meet someone but i really am terrified of the suspense that it holds. It's really a fucked up world i tell you.

Funny thing is, i love this fucked up world. Wahah!

Come to think of it. Yea. I love this fucked up society.

And also, ev,

Sometimes i really hate you. Wahaha.

You just can't tell the whole truth when you know you have to.

Well, that's just you. And i've been living with it ever since. It still irks me. 

I think shouldn't give two shits about it either until you decide to tell it.

Ha. Perhaps over coffee on a breezy day sometime soon ya. :)

And i'll always be there for you no matter what fuck comes in your or our way.

Hooray-ness!

What a bitch everyone is. Fuckin' love 'em.

Lost My Ticket

I wonder how much do i have to pay or whatever to have just 2 hours of talk time with you.

It's always rushing and cancelling and tired and this and that.

So what if i see you every night? It's just only to watch you chat to others online and smsing at the same time and not giving two fucks about someone right beside you waiting for you to finish. And even then, all you want is to sleep.

We were supposed to have a nice afternoon coffee today but guess what. It only lasted less than an hour. And half the time you were obsessed with your stupid ipod.

I wonder..i wonder.

What do you want in exchange for your precious time??

What is it?

I guess i have no more place in your life.

Do expect the unexpected.

Footprints

Everything is fucked up. Everything is fucked up.

Fucked up. UNfair. Shit.

Loser.

Hate. Whatever. Meaningless. Pointless. 

Fucked up. Fucked up.

Lousy. Unfeeling. Numb. Disagreements.

Unfaithful. Lied.

Bullshit.  Fucked up.

Life's a mess now. I'm so numb to everything. Disconnected. Blah blah blah.

What a beautiful world. I hate myself. I hate myself.  

I failed. Failure. They say you learn through failures. Who's they? How badly did they think they failed?

Relationships are just bullshit i guess. It's a status. Doesn't mean much.

I am never gonna get into another one. It all just leads to suspense and disappointment.

I know you. You know me. I think that's pretty enough. 

Fucked up. 

Why thank me for loving you? I wasn't doing a favour. It was unconditional.

What's a thank you and sorry? Doesn't add up well. 

Fucked up. That's what we all are. Fucked up.

I was stupid, blind, dumb, ignorant, aloof, lousy, unfeeling, fucked up, blind blind blind and fucked up.

Silent Sniggers

I'm currently just standing outside Starbucks @ PS. Am gonna head down to MediaCorp later to catch Screamm in action! I believe they are strong enough to last at least this round. Then again, we all still have to hope nevertheless. 

Just 2 days ago, a breakdown happened again for no particular reason. I just suddenly felt in between happy and sad. 

And i guess, you're right. The situation with us now is fantastic. And i won't let it be stained.

It feels like a movie everyday. Or an episode of sex and the city. Hah.

Being with you makes me feel nice and happy. :)

Moving on, i'm trying to find the right people to collaborate with my music. Taking it leisurely for the moment but hoping it'd go somewhere someday at the same time. :)

Still need to get the proper tools though. 

Also, thank you Ev for your great hospitality. It's been really comfortable. And thanks to your mum too. Thank you madam!! :) 

Coffee + ciggies and surfing the net with a buddy is damn shoik can!!

Ha. And i need to start to find some individuals for me to teach some guitars.

Unorthodox as it seems, at least it's heading towards the creativity section. I..guess? :p

Beings around me are going through a rough patch as well. On relationships too.

As they share their thoughts and worries, i kinda have to be thankful for my situation. 

I sometimes wonder whether i should just have companionship for the rest of my life without tying the knot. What do you think Ev? 

Seems like only you and me have this kinda open-mindset.

Don't you think? Whatever we are doing is kinda like taboo to others but not us.

That is why you're special. That was why our relationship was so special. :)

It seems after all this shit, we realised more common things we share on top of the tons we already knew.

Thank you for your love, concern and hugs and smiles and "booger-ing".

It's blardy fun la can!!

And this is so fucking beautiful.

Flames And Beyond

My mind's been a lil on the rough side. I really am not too sure why. Just couldn't pinpoint the exact problem. Oh well.

Last night was terrible. I was just waiting for you, feeling normal about it all until my mind flooded itself with assumptions. Crazy shit.

I think i really need a huge distraction for all this. Hah.

Damn. 

I love you babe. 

No plans today for a sunday. Probably just laze around and try to.. try what...? Ha.

I need coffee. And smokes. And coffee. Damn. I think it's a problem.

HAha. But i like coffee!! Argh! 

Hmm... i've been over at ev's place for quite a bit lately. I realy like it here because it's so comfy!! And we get to do silly things together. Hah. 

Right now you're sleeping so soundly beside me and i feel like grabbing a water bomb and dropping in at you now. WHahha!

Silly. Silly Silly. We always have been.

As The RIver Flows

Things have been pretty nice lately. 

I unsure of how to describe it but let's just say that being in an open relationship helps.

You have been awesome. WE have been awesome.

I guess i need to take up something else that could make me earn a little more. I thought of teaching guitars but i'm not sure whether an unorthodox way of teaching is recommended.

And another thing is, i'm quite caught making my own music and hoping it'd go somewhere someday. Hoping ain't good i know but i don't wanna promise myself too much now. Heh. :p

And pretty much, music is bloody important to me. Like REALLY important. Nothing comes close to soothing me down than making music (and YOU perhaps).

Well, whatever. As long as i'm feeling great. Whatever goes.

So fuck it. Ha.

Off We Go!

Past few nights have been great.

Managed to get my items like jeans, lenses, blinks for ev, NYDC ice-cream(!!!), cuffs, bangles and some other small shits. This was yesterday ya. Ha.

Went along to watch SuperBand and the eliminated band was shocking. I hated the result. It fucking stinks. 

Damn the voting systems. 

BUT that IS the agreement anyway. So yea.

Work's pretty low-tempo but generally great with all the happy people around.

I love my job man. I really like interacting with the customers. Well, not all of 'em of course. 

There's always those bitchass ones. Damn you all.

Got the 3rd draft to my song for Ev done. S'getting neater and "ommph-ie" by the minute.

Yaahooo!!

Hope to get it done up by her birthday.

Planning to get a piercing done. As well as a tattoo. I've got rough ideas but i'm certain to do it!!

Woo!!

Anyways, i guess we're on another level babe.

Day by day, we're realising a lot of things about each other and somehow, it puts a smile on us.

A funky family we dream of. A funky family we're gonna build. :)

We're sharing so much of similar thoughts and views and concept that it's so nostalgic.

Only we know. Only we know.

The situation has helped me realised a lot of shit that i did. Or rather did not do.

I'm sorry.

The things we shared on the bus today was short and sweet. We just love that sometimes don't we? I guess i was quite an ass too back then. Oh well, only we know. Only we know.

:)

I think i should go get a diary tomorrow. I like writing it out. The scribblings shows much emotions missing from blogs. 

And Emily stickers for my SalesAgreement File!! Yahoo!!

You're beeeeaauuuuuuuutifullll!!

LoopHole

Loved the coffee & cigarrette talk we had on saturday. S'nice to let out our feelings and hopes.  

Nothing exciting has been happening which i guess is pretty shitty. 

Hah. 

Gonna go shopping today with babe! Yay!! And ice-cream!! YummmmY!!

I hope i will not exceed my budget for getting shoes, bag, top, belt, file, blah blah blah. 

Shit. It's gonna exceed. Fuck.

Anyway, you would love to build a funky family with me and wanna have my kids.

So alright, let's do that!

But i guess you gotta sort out some matters first.

If your heart keeps telling you that i'm the One , no matter whom you're with, i guess it ain't lying to you afterall.

:)

We are One.

Hoolabaloo

What were you thinking ev?!!
As you realised, i know you too well and that you really don't wanna let me go.
I managed to calm you down and even cheer you up. As always. :)
How many can do that?

I'm glad you and me envision the same thought about a family together. :)
And yes. As we always agree. Our kids are gonna so cool with us as mom & dad. :)
Funky family.

You're really confused. Yes. I know.
But i think you're not actually confused.

You don't still love me.

You. love. me

I assume you are afraid of coming back to me and because you might hurt me again next time.
Well, i have been hurt by you so many times but still. Look where i am now.
Still here.
Who can do that?

Even maha mentions we can never be seperated no matter what.
I guess that tells a lot of how stable and secured we will always be.

Even after 2 years of almost seeing each other every day and night. we aren't bored of each other in any way.
Noticed how much love we are actually sharing?
Who can do that?

It goes to show how equally yoke we actually are.

Feel your heart. See the future.
What is it??

Oh how stella it could have been

First things first.

I. love. you

but you know something ev?
I... am fighting with myself everyday. To just fucking move on.
And that we would just remain bestest friends. And just bestest friends.

Heck. I'm not living in denial that you still love maha. Only that he's not the only one you love right now.
Which not sometimes but always, put me back to the confusion party.

You tell me all the time that i'm 'the one'. And that you can't afford at all cost to lose me.
I feel you. I do.
Well, i'm not pushing you to make an instant decision.
I just hope by the time you really made up your mind, it's not too late.

If you regret the choices you make, you know you'd only have yourself to blame because really, i'm falling away little by little.
My love for you is different you always mention. But i guess you haven't polished the real jewel to it until now. Even after 2 years, you still haven't noticed the diamond in it.

You do notice that our relationship now is much stronger than before. It always takes a mistake or a hurdle to notice things and remind us why we were together in the first place.

I'm amazed at myself really. I'm amazed at how i could still be here for you and doing all these things without feeling any sense of hatred or discomfort or whatever along that line.

I think i'm special.

And you are special too because i can love you in all sorts of ways. And i think it's something only certain individuals possess.

Anyway, i'm sorry.
I think i have fallen for another.
And she's a wonderful person too.

I didn't get a chance to tell you just now.

There's like butterflies in my stomach now.

I'm sorry.

Nevertheless, we shall still stay the same as how we are now.
You're a treasure to me as I am to you.

The song that i'm writing for you is so... i don't know.
It tells about what we went through together and something else at the same time.
I love it. And it's for you.

I hope i could have support from you with me moving on.
I'm so sad now. In fact, i don't really know how i feel. It's not joyful for all i know.

i cherished that dream of us getting married and building a funky family someday.
yes.

Cherished.

Silent Mode

Ev's obsessed with the Superband videos and i wouldn't blame her. I'd be just as excited as her if i was in!! :)

Anyway, to continue from where i left,
my feelings for you can never fade off completely.
I guess you and i really have chemistry. And can make each other smile no matter what happened or happens.

You were feeling down just now so i just gave up my wait for transferring of songs to pat you to sleep and sing impromptu lullabies to you. Just to make you feel warm and know that we're always there for each other.

As i was lying down on your bed, i stared at the stars that we put up on your ceiling and rewind to that day. Where we bought the stars at Toys'R'Us.
You did not notice but i teared. Good times. Good times.
:)

I'm sorry. :)
But you're a darling to me.
And i want the whole world to know.

Ha.

OKay. im back. Ha.

I guess i have woken up. LIke seriously. I know i was living on rubbish. Whah.

well in any case, here goes.

I have given up waiting for you. Yes. You know that. 

Now in fact, i have given up everything about you. :)

Somehow, i can't see you as my life partner any more. Just a great awesome friend. That's that.

This was probably why i was shivering and feeling spastic just now.

I thought hard about it and i guess you have already lost your chance to have another go with me. The hurt that you inflicted so badly on me came back over and over again.

You're fantastic a best friend for sure. BEcause we have such a great sense of stupidity, humour and musically driven. :)

I cherished the 2 years we spent of course. It was fantastic. 

What i really need now is someone who i can really really depend on.

And cheer me on all the way!!

You're still very indecisive about matters and that kinda scares me a lot.

So yea. 

Maybe i'll blog more tomor morning. 

Sorry.

PWeee!!

ScreamM was truly fantastic last night!! Definitely one of the better bands in the Superband competition!!

The solo was the shit. Drums had great balance in groove and attack. Bassist went wild and vocals was fitted nicely. Could sense the nervousness in them but they pulled it off well. Awesome shit.

I hope to be there every monday~!!

Stayed till the results show and went back with Ev's family. Washed up and headed back down there to pick her up. While waiting i was transferring  files from my old memory card to the new 2GB one! Woohoo!! So gonna upload millions of songs!! 

Anyway, i finally got the base down for my song. Pretty technical and this is my first ever project i'm gonna do totally solo. Hope it'll be my new platform to great music. I've kinda had it with playing with bands nowadays. It's just so hard to find the right people. So yea. Wish me luck!!

Work was strange today. I was shivering when it wasn't cold. Shivering from some funny feeling i had inside. I was staring into blank space half the afternoon. And i realised what it meant when i was on the bus home. It's a thought that i'd never wish would come.

I'll blog about it tomorrow morning. Or maybe later. i dunno. But i will jot it down for sure.

I'm pretty content with it.

So okay. She needs to use this awesome MacBook now.

See ya!

StarBucked

Me and Ev finally got the Black MacBook!! Yaaaahoooo!! 

Home Studio here we come!!

Yes. Though it's hers but i'm playing a part in expanding it. :)

Bought it over at NuBox at SimLim Sq and paid the full amount for it. In cash.

We feel so damn rich at that moment i tell you. Came along with protective covers for the thinkpad and keyboard but kinda sucky leh. Hah. Bought a briefcase-like bag for it. In sleek Black!! It's gorgeous i tell you. A lil expensive but it's damn nice la can!!

Earlier in the day, we left from her place at slightly after 11am. To have our hair done!! Wowee!

I was supposed to have mine streaked pink like Ev's but my hairstylist sucked. Whah. Doesn't matter. I'm gonna get it done again next month. It took about 5 hours for Ev's to be done. Expected. With the rebondings and shit. Fun it was really! :) Can't wait to see her in that hair for later on Superband!! Wooo!!

So yea. Went back home after getting the Mac to transfer our datas from our respective laptops. Didn't took long suprisingly. :)

And so, i'm gonna be selling my laptop later. A lil sad though. 

The one i'm typing on now holds so much memories. 

Pretty much got it after Ev showed me what it can do. Cool shit.

Although half the time it was with Ev herself. Hah. Her laptop keeps breaking down. Stupid. Whaha.

And now we'll start a new chapter with the black Mac. Yeah!!

Played bowling at midnight last night and i loved it! Hah! So gonna have another go again soon!

Then head over to Ian's place to watch the Euro 08 final. Phew. What a satisfying day spent.

:)

And i get to see Ev later after Superband. Picking her up after she's done. 

I pray that she would get thru not only the next round but all the way!!Go ScreamM!

Hit the sales target again this month! Yahoo!! Love the feeling!!

Rich Rich Rich! For a while. Haha!

 And Bangkok here we come!!  :) 

Anyway Ev, my feelings for is still here. You know it cause i showed it. :)

And i guessed that when you seperated from me, you forgot about all the little things i did for you. I guessed you were to used to it you forgot it actually meant something. And a lot at that too.

From handling your laundry, tidying up your room, putting you to sleep, letting you learn the ropes by yourself. I think i did a great job at supporting you to become a grown-up.

You showed me. I'm not blind. :)

I like to think of it like i took care of an injured bird and leeting it go when it's all healthy and strong. And i know the bird will eventually come back to it's caretaker because the love stayed in them. And all that care was truly unconditional. :)

Sometimes one has to let go to to love. And if it comes back, i guess it's genuine love. 

Because you're worth it. :)

I love you.

Sudoku

Came to work late today. Thankfully. HAh. HArdly sold anything. Didn't had the mood to.
Was trying to write a song. And wanna record it!!

MacBook is just 3 days away! As well as GuitarHeroes!! Yaaahooo!!
So can't wait. And gonna be doing our hair on that day as well!!
Red streaks for me and pink for ev. Let's go!! :)

And yea. I realised that heading to mediacorp is crazy. The walk in from the bustop is like route march!! Damn far in can!!
Was heading there to meet eva and head back home that night. Decided on a cab home instead.
Thanks to kenny for sending us out ot the main road!! :) Grateful!!
And monday i've to head down there. I hope the weather is kind on that day.
And i'm gonna prepare posters and banners for Screamm!!
Yargh!! Total DIY. ahha.

Anyway, i can't wait for shopping next week either!!
Yahoo!!

Okay. I'm at ian's house now. Gonna go smoke now.

Take care babe!! :)

Moderato

Payday's almost here!! Yaaaahooo!! Few days to go. :)

I've missed quite a few days of blogging..damn. I'll try to squeeze as much as i can remember. 

Work has been really well. though it slowed down towards the end. :) 

Gonna get the black MacBook this saturday!! Yahoo! And Guitar Heroes!! Sui!!

Had the Yamaha anniversary lunch, An 8 course meal and I TELL YOU.. there was only like 6 of us for a table of 10. Crazy shit. We couldn't finish any of the courses fully. Africa must hate us for that. Hah. And we received a $25 Swensen's voucher as well. Awesome!!

Headed to K-Box @ Cine after and it was my lst ever visit. Cool shit!! Singing avril songs is so pressure-relieving!! And ian keeps singing sappy songs. Whahhha! Love sick bitch.

And i think there was a chipmunk trapped in our room. Scary. What if we get bitten!!?? What if I got bitten? eww..don't.

Had a lot of snacks whilst singing and despite that, we still went ahead for swensen's at night. Damn. I'm amazed at how much i could fill myself. And for the rest too. Hah. Window shopped around heeren for a bit before our supper. Fourskin has some nice stuff. Well, only the cuffs for that matter. Hah. Ian got a almost-gay bag. Almost ya. Almost. Haha.

And jonathan was pretty much our sacrifice for joke-of-the-day. Whahhaha!! Love that pic we captured. (And Joey looks nice in green. :p)

I had the macroni and cheese (baked). Power pack!! (but sucks after a while) Hah. 

Tip: Body-surfing on a long red sofa is asking for a joint pain in the neck.

Jon had some miserly serving spaghetti and the rest had boring Fish n chips. (sorry ler..it made me yawn lor..)

Ting2's having some problems with her fag. Same ol, same ol'.  Hah. I hope you move on girl!! Your personality can get you better. 

Boss is on long leave. (1week+) and we are having the time of our life in the store! Wahhah!!

It's havoc. Creating havoc is  tiring. Should stick to working. Damn. 

Maha's sad because some singh is obsessed with ev. Wahah. Crazy. Why can't anybody like somebody? Whaha! You have serious issues with yourself dude. And ev's doing a great job trying to understand you. So be thankful. cheh. 

(and be thankful the singh's short and weird. If not..I TELL YOUUU...)

Whah.

Pretty much, same ol' coffee every day and night. Been having at least 3 cups a day. 'Cept tonight. Only on my lst cup and it's a delicious Mocha from a very darling Eva. (Thanks for the bagel and cream cheese+ butter combo too!!)

Okay. Since i mentioned and always been, eva, i'd like to share a lil.

Yes it's true we're no longer together. But we ain't split yet. 

Everyone around me is telling what a fucking bitch she was for doing what she did.i don't blame you guys. It is right for you awesome people to say that.

BUT.

I have never been connected  and so very connected to anybody before. And never thought i would. We're really sometimes like twins. Funnily, whatever we do always compliments each other. I don't know how. But it's true and it's scary.

So despite the great hurt she has inflicted on me, i think it's stupid to discard our great connection over something that's pretty minor compared to what we have shared and will share for the rest of our lives.

The promises we made when we were together still holds up till now. Because i mean them not as a boyfriend. I meant them as a soulmate.

A soulmate doesn't mean one has to be together. 

Love plays a big part in this role. Love in many different ways. Love doesn't require one to return whatever they have given. It's just giving and giving. That's all.

Not many can achieve that. because they are just humans being born unrealistic, selfish, conditional and single-minded. 

Everyone still questions me whether i still have feelings for her. I do. Of course. but the thing they don't understand is, i love her as a awesome-ness friend. (yes. my real soulmate)

I'm not loving her with intentions of wanting to win her back. I've already stopped waiting for her return. 

We are close. Very close. 

Don't you people ever want someone whom you can trust and share and confide in ANYTHING at all? Someone you know who's always there because they want to and not because they feel they should?> 

Eva's is special to me. Everyone should have that special someone in their life. 

Why there ain't many like me and eva is because they think that a special someone should be their girlfriend and shit. 

I tell you. No. That's not my interpretation of Love.

If you are together with that special someone, then it's a bonus. A privilege. A real gift.

Eva showed me a passage from the Bible (corinthians) about Love. 

And telling me i achieved all that. And i AM that. 

Thank you. It's all natural for me because you and me have that special chemistry. And no one can interfere. Someone did but it still doesn't bother our relationship.

A soulmate. It's an invisible thing.

It's always floating around no matter where we both are.

We feel each other despite the distance.

Whatever you have done eva, 

i appreciate it. You may think that you have failed as soulmate. You haven't. 

I'm still here. All cheerful and supportive of you. Just as you would of me. I know.

Once a soulmate, always a soulmate. We can never fail each other. No such rubbish.

Live your life as you want it. Do not let anybody stop you from your decisions. Nobody should and nobody can. It's YOUR life. YOUR heartbeat. YOUR hands. 

YOUR.FUTURE.

I've seen you grown.

And tell me honestly. 

Aren't you much more mature & confident now?

Compared to when we just got together?

(It took a lot for me to finally let go of you. And i had to control my tears from dripping off. This is during the anniversary lunch. And it was hard for you to accept it too. 

We shall always keep that lyric i sent you in our hearts.)

Till today, our candle hasn't started burning yet. And through thick and thin we shall go through together. As promised right from the start. :)

I Love You. 

BombShell

There's renovation going on at my workplace and it sealed up the front entrance. And it's making thw whole store totally dead. Good thing we have people in the store. :)
Didn't manage to sell much today. Hadn't the energy. Blame it on facebook. Hah.
(yes..i know. Blame myself..sheesh..)

Went to work with Ev and we were both were like so zombie-ish too. Hah. Had my smoke break with her after a great MacDonald's meal. Yum!! Simply love the fries there.
Things are pretty okay now. Generally that is. So it's great news. :)

Went to HMV after work with ian (he's lovestruck now..hah!) and he got a couple of CDs. I forgot what's the band name but they are awesome shit i tell you. I TELL YOUUU!!

Ev said she'd pass by town and okay, waited for her (late as usual) and head back home.
Reached her place just before 1am.
Couldn't stay late at her place tonight. Not for now that is.
Hah. Been hanging around till almost dawn lately.

Boss's gonna be off the whole of next week. Fuckin' awesome.
S'gonna be like a coffee-break week. Hah.

And to you, babe,

thank you for wanting me to part of your life and having me always in your heart.
There's no better way to return your appreciation for me.

I love you too.

Atomic Bomb

Been engrossed with Facebook recently. Oops. Hey, it's interesting can!
Think i'm gonna get a shitty time from her mum later in the morning for staying at ev's place too late yet again.
Sorry babe.

Off day today. Spent the day just lazing around the house and meeting Ian for coffee later at night. Ev & the singh guy was there too. Ha. Weird.

Got a pretty bad cut on my pinky. Got clipped by the timbales. Damn. It really stings and totally numbed my left arm. Tingly. Hah.

You'll always be my close friend. And close to my heart
No matter what.
All that i've done for you is all truly enjoyable. :)

Special Forever.

Terrorized

I'm still waiting for that someone to come and brighten up my life. At least a lil. :)

So, whatever ya. :)

Mondays is always and has always been nice ever since i got the sales job. 

And it helps a lot these days that i've a special friend to share all my joys, stories, experience and whatever-nots with. :)

Thank you Ev. It's really heartwarming and special.

(Your mocha today was awesome! And thanks for the puff!! )

I can't wait for pay day. Getting the GuitarHero and the sleek, black MacBook and some new clothes. Waaahooo!! Gotta return some debts but it should be fine. :)

Was thinking whether i should get studio monitors. Hmm..shall place it in my wish list. The M-Audio ones aren't too bad really. And yea. A microphone as well. Shure is the way!!

                                   You

So warm.

So connected.

So telepathic.

So inseperable.

So i-can-finish-your-sentence

So us.

Awesome-ness you are.   :)

Euro Trance

Last night's Wall Of Jericho gig was fucking fucking awesome!! Opened doors late. LIke an hour an a half late. But totally worth it man!! Moshed and stage dived towards the end of the show!! Freaking amazing!! I touched the vocalist's shoulder and dived!! Woohoo!!

And Ev dived too!! Woohoo!! I've got pics of of it. MIght post it up if i've the chance later!! :)

Local band My Precious amazed me once again. Awesome shit.

Okay. I'll write more in a bit. Chatting with my pal now. :)

Your mocha rocks babe!! :)

Forwarded

Sales yesterday was fantastic i tell you!! Fuh.. can't wait for pay day!! Yaaahoo!!

Bangkok!! Here i come!! :) Planning it with my closest friends and spend about a week there coming december. Yaaahoo!!

Walls of Jericho is just hours away!! 

The boss is bitching to me right now on the phone. Whaaat fuck man... it's my bloody off day. Oh well, who cares?! No one in this world i know has so much ego and so bloody petty at that.

Boss has like the egos of both sexes combined. Ugly sight i tell you.

So it's a hot day. And i just bathed. And i'm sweating again. Damns. So i bathe again. Ha.

Coffee last night with old pals was fucking funny!!! Wahha!! Just love those guys!! 

Kinda hate sundays. Seems to always be a sleepy day.

Had lunch here at Ev's place. 

It's almost 2pm now. No wait. It's only 2pm now. 

Working next on tuesday. And i think it's gonna be a day full of nagging from the boss. AHhah! 

Hearing him nag is really funny. He's just repeating the same shit over an over again. Well, that's nagging. but his is funny with the whiny voice like someone else i know. WHhaha!! 

Set-up the keyboard and the FireWire Solo up today. Gonna create something up soon enough. 

I should use the time tonight to like erm.. (thinking..)

I've never blogged so often before. But it's nice to while your time especially while waiting for someone to get ready and shit. Hah. :)

OKay. I'll catch up and update again tonight!!

Love you va va voom!! :)

Come Close

Fell asleep last night drooling on my horror book. Hah. Cool. Shit. And a bird appeared at my window and jolted me up totally. So yea. Got ready and head over to jump on Ev's bed. 

Love doing this. Damn shoik lah can! Hah. 

Gonna be late for work. Well, intentionally yea. Boss's off anyway. I hope to make great sales this afternoon!! YeeeHaa!! 

Wondering where should i go tonight man. Hah. I'm so enjoying myself nowadays. Fucking love it. I'm pretty broke though. Hmm..

Walls of jericho is just tomorrow!!!!!!

Is there any headbangers starter pack??!

Neck's so gonna be sore on the night itself. 

Ev looks so adorable when she sleeps. Adorable like a piglet. Whhahhahhahhahahah!!

Oink. 

Hahah.

OKay..gotta go make some... (love?) money now. 

Seeya soon!

I love you Funny Girl!!

Dark Windows

Things have been awesome lately. Great company. Great coffee. Great lotsa stuff. 

Sales have been pretty good. :) So glad about it. Hmm.. i kinda feel happy nowadays really. Though some things might recur to me and make me go sighing.. i think it's okay. Healthy. :)

Special friendships. 

It's really wonderful. A real close friend whom i feel so really comfortable with. Loved it. Fucking love it. Hah. :) 

Walls of Jericho is 2 days away!! Yaaaaahooooo!!! It's gonna be fucking fucking awesome!!

I'm making more music nowadays. Yes ah!! And it's very calming. Though it's heavy music. Wahah! Seems like the people around me are having complications in relationships. S'like really what the fuck. One by one. Is it really the season or what? Hah. Whatever.

Anyway, saturday is here. And the boss is off. Yay! Fucking yay!!

i'll see you around soon babe. :)

Fucking love you. Yaaahoo!!

So gimme

Only midnight and i'm like sooooo sleeeepy. 

Must be the lack of caffeine i had today. Only one pathetic cup of ice coffee. Damn.

but i enjoyed the coffee and smoke session just now. Always loved it.

Got cookies, rented a book and had half chicken with rice for dinner. Yum!!

Shit. I'm so broke. Yet again. Haha. Doesn't bother me too much or for too long either. :)

Work tomorrow should be fun. A friday night. Yahoo!! And a free cab ride home too!!

Love my job. Love the people there. Fantastic!!

It's really so pleasant being with you. really awesome day i have. :)

Thank you babe. :)

Love you!!   :)

llahs raM!!

My music-making stuff has a new home now. Cosy up in one blue corner and along with one of my gibbies. S'gonna be great with a drumset within reach. Power lah!!

Kinda skipped worked today. And i felt like it was 2007 all over again. Hha! Loved that year. 

Chilled out over chocoloates, mamee snacks, hello panda (cheese)[yuck], porridgey things (hah),

sarsi light, some TV, naps that were short and damn happening in between, and whatever tickles. Whaha. Loved it all. Thanks babe.

Gonna head out now. Grab a cuppa and some smokes. 

Not before having a walk around the friendly-neighbourhood mall. 

i feel like keeping a personal diary again. Like how i did before. Had like so many of 'em and i dunno where the fuck are they now. Shit. I really gotta find them!! It's gonna so bloody interesting lah can!!

But yea. I think i still like writing it out. Blogging here ain't too bad. But not much emotions with no handwriting identity. So fake. But it's all good so far. 

I can't believe today's only the 12th. And good thing is my i'm ahead of my sales plan. Bad news is payday is 2 weeks away.

Fuck.

I love being 24. 

Yeah right.

Love ya babe!! :)

Wham!!

Woke up a lil' late today and got to work 15 minutes late. Like who cares at yamaha anyway. Hah.

A slow start but things pick up really well and i mean REALLY well. For starters, I sold like a total of $4k+!! Which is so weekend-thingy!! Man! Freaking loving it!! And..........

HELEN DROPPED BY!!

Chit chatted a bit and i gave her my email and my MySpace link. Telling her she could hear my stuff first and just perhaps we could come up with something and get a recording done up. Just perhaps. Just perhaps. 

Met Ev for coffee after work at KopiRoti at WestMall. Love the people there!! And the coffee tastes great each time without fail. Fucking love those bitches. :)

Had a great chit chat and whatever-nots and love it when we go home with smiles. :)    :)

Got an ice-cream, a Magnum Mini from her mum. Awesome. 

Uploaded more songs into my phone and so gonna be headbanging and air-guitaring all the work from now on. Like today. HAhha!! Shoik lah can!!

The feeling's great i tell you. Woohoo!!

The month of June has so far been pretty well. I'm loving it. Though i'm a lil' broke as well. Hah. Fuck. 

Anyway, gonna be reviving DollTrash pretty soon. I just love the experimental stage. Hah. 

The 3 of us, i guess, were meant to be together despite whatever. It's scary. It's fantastic. It's what we call a band.

The Line6 UX1 pod has been an awesome tool for my joy in making music late at night. Thanks Ian!! How can i thank you?!!!

Gonna be abusing it a lot soon. :)  Woo Hoo!!

Haven't had much sleep recently but it's all planned. Ain't wanna waste my time on sleeping. There's like so many things you can do and accomplish. Some people just like sleeping in all the way. Dunno for fuck. Hah.

Anyway, we can't bear to let each other go. Only we know why. 

I'll see you soon babe.

Fucking love you. Yaaaa Hooo!!  :) 

Bonkers

Work was pretty busy today. Hardly had any sales today but i guess it's like this every tuesday. 

Pretty much fun really. The mood was fantastic. Everyone was feeling happy. Awesome.

Had smoke with Ev during my break and was just bitching a lil here and there. Pretty cool 10mins really. By the time i'm done, there's only like 40mins to closing. Shoik lah can!!

Tidied the back of the store a bit and that's it for the day. Meeting up eugene for coffee along with ian. Talked bout funny relationship problems and really had a good laugh. Whhah!

Awesome dudes!! We got free almond nuts and a tall caramel frappe. Yay!!

Okay. I guess. That's it to a boring day. Not really in the best of mood now. God damn.

Whatever i do, it's for you and only you. 

Achtung!

It's 9.35am now. At Ev's place and gonna be waking her up (violently i hope) in about 10mins.

Tuesdays is stocks day. Hate it. Dang. And i'm so damn hungry. Argh. So bloody hungry. 

And i can't wait for Guitar Heroes to arrive into the lappie!

I figured i should include pictures and shit into this blog to at least bring some life to it. 

Gonna take some and post a lot. :)

And ask Ev to help me with the skins on it. She really knows my taste.

Awesome shit. Speaking of which, i think i need to shit now.

Before i end this, my life's getting so much better now.

but my friends are like going through a similar turmoil as i was a month ago. 

Deja Vu all over again.

You are my light. You are my soul.

You're all that i've ever hoped for. 

Because no one can lift me up like you

And it helps, for our feelings are true.

I.Love.You.

Up Yours.

I just love mondays. 'Cause it's my permanent off day and today we had our guitar lesson at a dirty corner by the 7th level of the multi-storey PS carpark. 

Had afternoon coffee with Ting and talked bout her stuff n worries n shit. 

Headed to RC to have break with Ev. Gobbled on almond swirl and gulped down an AWESOME cup of Mocha! Woo. Damn creamy can!!

We were pretty much damn sleepy. 

Anyway, Ev's lappie got drenched by the rain and it's so like totally useless now. 

Off we went to scout for a black MacBook at Funan. Pretty affordable with the installment plan.

It's so slick can!!

And i'm gonna get the Guitar Heroes on the Mac!! YaaaaaHooo!!!

Now we can rock together like every night and headbang!! BOOya!!

My laptop has been taken away by alien patrol. It's gonna insert stupid-to-me-but-not-stupid-to-her information. Hhah. 

Okay. I've to log off because they don't accept us humans talking in funny languages. 

I.Heart.You

Tic Tac Toe

Had a great sleep last night!! Awesome!! 

Chilled with Rikh & Din around town yesternight and had a great time catching up.

Ended work at 6pm and only meeting 'em at 9 so i scooted down to HMV Heeren and was air guitaring there all by myself. Ahhah! Great feeling i tell you! Rocking to Iron Maiden's greatest hits. Childhood memories i tell you. Started listening to them when i was only about 10 yrs old. Cool riffs even till now. Rikh finally arrived and we walked back to Starbucks at CrownPrince and met an old friend there and got a free Soy Latte!! Woo hoo!! Thanks Mima!!

Then off to Borders to just waste time while waiting for Din to arrive. 

Had the mood for some arcade, and PS it is. There was this new machine where you have a huge rubber hammer and to be slammed on to a lever as hard as you can. Fucking Fun! I wasted like $7 on it!! It felt good and that's worth it. HAh.

HAd coffee again afterwards (my 3rd huge cup) and chit chatted till like 2am. Ev's mum called me in between and was freaking worried but i managed to assure her that she's perfectly safe.

:) Call your mum next time Ev! 

Walked down to the capitol to take the NR home. Damn bloody sleepy man. And i thought i would snooze off on the bus but end up bitching about dunno-what-shit till our stop. HAha!! Shoik!! I love you guys! We can just bitch n bitch non-stop!! Fwahha!!

And today was especially awesome!! Hardly had any mood to sell stuff but i managed some and got a total of $3.5k in sales today!! Power Pack! Someone bought my favouritest guitar man. Mixed feelings. Sad that it's gone. Happy that it's worth $2.1k in sales. 

Shoik. I can't imagine my July pay. I am so confident of that bangkok trip now. woooHoo!!

Supposed to meet ev at PS at 10pm but she cancelled it. Oh well, that's okay. Was waiting for you with Ian anyway and he needed someone to talk too as well. Ended all okay in the end and chit chatted with ev opposite my place till midnight-ish instead.

And we tried origami for a bit. Hah! you suck with papers. Haha!!

Tomorrow's finally my off day!! Yahoo!! I do enjoy my work but 6 days in a row is no joke!!

Its been an awesome week. I fucking loved it. Okay. Till tomorrow!! See you all!!

I.Heart.You

:)

Gutless

Was up at 4.30am today. Woken up to the music of "Collapse" by Saosin. My alarm tone.

Supposed to head to Ev's place at 5 and sleep for a while before shaking her up at 5.30am.

But i drifted away till 5.25am when Ev called me. Thanks a lot. I would have snoozed all the way if you hadn't. Had McDonald's breakfast of mcgriddles while she chows on Egg McMuffin, Hash Browns and shared the tea. We were both sooo sleepy but somehow, we managed to stay alert and chit chat all the way to work. 

Helped to shift out the chairs and tables not before a good smoke. :)

Wanted to write some notes for the lesson but i was too damn shagged to think about anything. So i just doodled around. Thanks ev for the iced soy latte and cheesecake.  :)

Awesome breakfast it is.

Didn't sell much as the flow was pretty mild for a saturday. But nevertheless, i was too sleepy to realise anything. HHAh. Damn.

Helen didn't drop by today:(

 But i hope she will soon.

 We could do some music together right there. Cool shit.

Supposed to watch the Euro2008 with ian and daniel but i don't i could stay awake. And i'm starting like 3pm the next day. Sorry Ian. 

Talked to liting for a bit just before end of work, and i hope you've decided on stuff.

Gonna be jamming to headbang later with Ev, I miss jamming man!!!

So gonna chugga chugga and gore to some new riffs!!

I'm like 3/4 asleep now and so, i've gotta log out now. 

Love you. I really do. 

See You Soon!! :)

Hit And MIss

Boss was off today and so me and ian went off to search for the Emily mousepad that Ev wanted. Scouted through PS and Bugis but to no avail. Oh well. The stall at Bugis which used to be flooded by Emily stuff has disappeared. Damn it. 

Ian wasn't in his usual mood. Still in a dilemma over matters of the heart. 

You're coping well dude. Chill ya? 

Store wasn't busy as expected but i managed to squeeze a measly $1.5k in sales. Only. :(

Fuck. Well, that's what happens when the boss ain't around. Haha!! I enjoyed my day nevertheless.

SO ANYWAY, at about closing time, this girl came up to me and went " Hi! Could i get some help with the guitars?" 

Wherever you are, you totally got me at "Hi". 

So off she went to try out the L Series and loved the sweet sound on the LL26.

Costing $3.2k, she gave it a miss. And off we go to a conversation which led to an introduction of ourselves. Told her to just come back if she has the urge to play that guitar again. Hopefully this time, her mum ain't around to rush her off. 

Her name's Helen by the way.   Man...

So then, me and ian had coffee with our  workmate who's enlisting soon and was his last day at Yamaha just now. Chatted and gossiped till 10-ish and went to wait for Ev at RC. 

Stomach's growling (and still is) and had a sesame bagel finishing it up with  ice chocolate (which was fucking awesome i tell you) and read 8Days.

It's really a great budget magazine to kill time at just $2. Fantastic.

Gotta work early in the morning later and Ev had to cover opening later at 8am. We're so gonna be deprived of sleep and i dunno how i'm gonna last to watch Portugal Vs Turkey at 3am. 

Catching it at Ian's place along with our great buddy, DANIEL!! Yay!!

I hope i've energy to jump on Ev's bed later at 5.30am. Hah. Gonna go work together despite me starting later. Well, i thought i could do up my lesson notes on a nice saturday morning. :)

And i get to peek at Ev working too. Hehee. :p (hope i get some soy latte)

I'm supposed to be sleeping now but the bath kept me totally awake and i feel like chugga chugga-ing on the Ibanez Prestige!! (Sorry LesPaul. Just temporary okay?!)

My cat's feeling sad lately. And i'm just so scared of the day she'd pass away. She's been with us since the day we picked her up as a newborn 11 years ago. 

11 freaking years. That's like erm..i dunno how many in cat's years really. Hah. Oops.

Anyway, weekend's here and i'm gonna miss your company. 

Can't wait to get our Pink streaks done up!! Woohoo!

We're so gonna look hot. HAhah! :p

Until then, my special friend, 

I'll see you soon.

You still have a place in my heart.

:)

Roadkill Morning

Started my day in the early noon heading down to RC to replace the faulty memory card and got a half the original memory size instead. Well. Better than nothing really. Planning to get a 2GB worth anyway. 

Walked down to Roxy Music and got the tickets to Walls Of Jericho show!! Yeah baby!! 

Fucking can't wait to get loose and headbang all the way. I need to sign up for insurance for this.

Hah.

Plenty of human flow at work today and i sold a bass worth $4.2k and another at $600.

Crazy shit i tell. Plus some other small fuck purchases. I hope i could continue with much much more!!! And it'll all be great!! $$$ here i come!!

Am saving up for a Bangkok trip in december. And i really plan to buy a hell lot of shit over there.

And if i happened to save too much..i might head to Japan (!) instead!! Woohoo!!!

Had coffee with eugene today. Ian's feeling really down i guess that he rejected our offer. 

Well, i hope you're okay man.

Went to find ev and headed back home. Managed to catch the last 106. Phew. 

As usual, your mouth never stops. Hahha. Just had to get munchies. 

Chicken Flavored Mamee and Assorted Hello Panda. Pretty cheap really. Shocking. 

Shared the Pepsi Twist and had ice-cream (Magnum and Crunch) for a so-called supper. 

Back at her crib, she was checking out one of our friend, Adnan, a chillout guitar teacher, facebook profile and saw the video of a performance he & Janet organized for his students. Ev looks so small on stage!! Haha!

I loved that gig man. Played the drums for another band with Ev singing for them as well. 

We covered like Maroon 5, Cranberries & Bon Jovi. Cool stuff man. 

Was held at a CC in our BukitBatok area so it was pretty much a new experience for us. Cool Shit.

Despite my busy hours at work, i'm glad i could juggle spending time with my pals, with my special friend, rocking out riffs in my room in the wee hours, writing, meeting new people and now i actually even have time to teach guitars. Starting coming monday. 

Gotta prepare the notes this sunday. 

So hey, hardrock babe, i know you like how we are now. And guess what? 

So do i. :)

And you're spot on of the reason that you gave about me wearing the band back.

Your smiles are special. YOU are special.

Sorry. But i love you. :)

Sack Of Potatoes

Started the day with a very vigorous jump on ev's bed!! Damn shoik lah i tell you!! I almost hit the ceiling. Hahah! Finally you were really asleep. For once. Haha. Though you woke up earlier than usual, we still boarded the late 11am bus. Hah. Great start to my day really. Going to work with you and chitchatting in the train all the way to our respective stations really made a working day well.

Like coming in with a calm mind and a smile. :)

A must for me to have that $1 warm coffee and a fag. Gotta love the combination. :) :)

So it was mundane at first until i got struck with this fella getting $5000 worth of goods!!

Damn shoik lah can!! And then followed by another $2000 worth of freaking asswipe guitars. Man. Sometimes it's really what the hell. :) Power.

Walls Of Jericho are heading this way!! And the ticket will be in my hands later!! Woohoo!!

Soft.com really has good updates. Their riffs are shoik lah can!! (yet again) And only $35!!

What a deal!!

Coffee and bitching after work yet again. I like it really. Releases our tension drastically. Awesome. And of course the company matters too! You're a great biatch, Ian!! :)   :)

On the bus journey home and felt hungry. Prata would help really. Probably the best invention of cheap supper. Had Ev for company along with VERY sweet Teh O peng. We're so gonna lose our legs soon man. Haha!

And could you please stop throwing that poor pillow off your bed. I feel sad for it man. If you don't want it, gimme ler... :p

Anyway, i can't wait to headbang on 15 June and there's My Precious too!!! You ain't local if you do not know 'em. You really ain't. Ha.

You're great company ev. A great friend. A great everything.

Thank you.

Hugs & Cuddles!! Love Ya!!   :)

DoubleSided Tape

Work was crazy man... but i'm glad i managed to finish it all in just 8 hrs. Hah. Fuck.

Realised that my new phone's memory card is faulty and gonna head back to replace it. I just hope they don't gimme some stupid bullshit. 

Pretty much a simple day today. Groovy at the same time. 

Thanks for having me over for dinner and chowing it down together.

She cooked like all my favourite dishes!!

Power ke de ma!! :)

Sotong with soy sauce! Kangkong Belacan!! Chicken curry!!

Fuyooohhh!!

And dang. I forgot to grab the Magnum ice-cream away before you. Shit.

Great company you are babe.

Love ya. :)

Professor Klutz

The weekend went really well. Great coffee and talk with friends, watched Screamm rock out for SuperBand at IMM (and i got a hug!! ), and of course..today. Monday. 

It's my off day and i started early in the morning. As always when i could, i'd head over and try to jump on your bed to wake you up. :) So cool. Glad you like it. (Although sometimes you've already woken up. Hah) 

I really enjoy being with you. I don't know why. The feeling with you now is so much more relaxed and carefree. :) Awesome.

Sent you to work and managed to have lunch on your mum's fried rice with battered fish and potato wedges! Yum!!

Decided to get a new phone today and got on to a Limited Edition White SonyEricsson W910i!!!

Simply adore its outlook!! And functions too! Woohoo!! (Don't get jealous ev..hah)

Bumped into a friend along the way and had his lunch with me at Spinelli's itself. Well, not really lunch but just peach juice. Hah. Gay. Yes. I know.

Headed back down to PS to sample Iris's cookies and pretty sweet really. Not bad at all. Buttery. As how it should be. 

Then went back to RC to meet Ev for her break. (Sorry! I was to obsessed with the new phone!)

:p

Then Ian dropped by and we watched Rammstein videos on my iBook. Love their 'live' shows man. Very engaging!! 

6pm. Ev's done with the coffee job and off we go to bugis village not before we circled RC for a bit.

Got an Incubus T-shirt at the market and Ev was like looking for stuff to dress up for Superband. (Sorry to rush you babe, but not much time for me to scout for stuff before it all closes. )

She suggested FarEast is a better place to shop and true to her word. I found this awesome 'mat' shoes at only $19.90!! Designed with stars and shit like that.

And i got my glasses too!! Less than 10bucks!! Good deal!!

Anyway, it was all well really until some stupid SMSes ruined the mood a bit. I thought nothing of it and tried to make her let out her worries. 

Still pulling a sad face, i thought having a sundae would cheer you up!!

And it did!! Yay! Only that it happened again. Ice-cream came along with sides and a main dish!!

WTH!!

EV!!!!

Thanks really. Didn't know NYDC's food was fantastico!!

And you REALLY know your food man. The 'whatever-you-call-it' was super cheesy and powerpacked!!! Wahoo!! 

All in all, you sure had fun using my phone to send stupid messages huh. HAhhahha!!

It was really funny man!! Haha!!

I'm so glad you cheer up in the end. I really am. :)

Broke as it i would result to be, a smile is, priceless afterall. :)

And i didn't forget your lullaby at night as well! Hope you still like AvrilLavigne's songs. (At least the older albums. Heh)

You were very warm and cosy today. Thank you Ev. For the best Monday i've ever had. :)

A true friend. THE Special One.

I love you.   :)

Fuckeroos

Weekend's here finally. Can't stand the bitchiness of the boss for the past few days. It's really driving me insane. Went off to watch Indiana Jones and it sucks. Fucked up i tell you.

Then head down and had vodka-coke. Didn't help much.

Smsed and called you but no response. Adds to my misery. Oh well.

God, please damn that fuckface.

And yes ev, I still love you a lot. Don't get pissed with what i'm doing. I'm single now. I can do whatever fuck i want. Didn't you say it for yourself too??

And fuck you fuckface.

Escape

I really wish i could say "Whatever" to everything and it'll be all okay for me. Apparently, it doesn't work. 

Dang.

With my LesPaul resting on my thighs, i'm goring away to all the frustration away and still, it didn't cease in any way.

Dang.

I'm beginning to think that you find commitment a chore. So i guess i like chores. In a way, you're calling yourself a chore to me. 

Sometimes, the things you say or do, it's really what the fuck. 

Ha. Let's just see what happens next yea. Many things can happen in a day.

I need a massage. For my tired soul.

Is there such a thing? 

Bleh.

I still miss you. :)

Morning Madness

I liked the smoke and talk we had. Really, the alcohol hasn't much effect on me. I'm talking straight from my heart and not listening to anything that my friends are saying. Because they DO NOT know how i really feel about you and what we have shared. 

Thanks for wanting to come down despite the wee hours ev. 

And thanks for clearing matters out too. 

Being a friend with you is difficult without me trying to fall in love with you again and again.

I wanna start a new chapter with you too. Being there for you like how i've always been. 

Neither would I hinder any future plans you have for yourself to get a great career!! :)

You're really my wonderland.

I Miss You.

MidTerms

June is finally coming and i think i'll make some mid-year resolutions. 

I'm gonna really try to sell as much as i can. And without compromising any time for my friends or chances to meet new people. 

And i must forget that April and May of 2008 never existed.  :)

I've decided to just wait till you ask me out or initiate anything. Asking you out always is "we'll see how okay? "

Fine. I'm gonna start my acoustic seriously come June. With who..i hope to find someone soon.

And maybe i could just fall in love with that person. :)

Adieu my lovely friend.

I Say Hey!!

Great day at work today despite the boss being extra bitchy. Damn him. 

Pretty much busy the whole day but i kept thinking of you still. :) Perhaps unknowingly, you motivate me. I didn't have a craving for the chocolate hazelnut cookie really. I just wanted to get one for you 'cause you love it and i think it'll cheer you up a bit. :) 

(The cookie's nice though.)

And yea. I'm really planning to do acoustic stuff with you. Because i still feel a connection. 

Be it you singing or drumming. As each day pass, i tried to move on. But my heart still tells me you're the one. You're the one i wanna have kids and have fun and share my whole life with. You're the one that i wanna rollerblade, suntan, sing songs, shopping, coffee,, lovely meals and many others more with. 

Oh well, Let's play badminton soon ya!! 

My heartbeat goes Ev-Va  Ev-Va  Ev-Va.

Kids be Gone

Hello everybody!!

I'm sitting at Raffles City Spinelli's right now and the mood is simply relaxing. Like i'm in some kind of hot tub with apple fragrance.

Yea right. Hah

So anyways, i've quit the band. Totally. And i'm certain that i really can't commit that much anymore. As of lately, though i love heavy metal, i'd rather much produce melodramatic songs. No. Not emo. Acoustic kinda stuff. Like duets kinda thing. I so need to get a good vocal and instrument mike. Can't wait to get 'em!! (Oh yea..thanks for the coffee and cookies ev!!)

I'm trying to piece up an instrumental piece and a bossa-blues-hard rock kinda stuff. Fusion they say. Well..whatever. It sounds good really. Working in a music store helps a lot in practice time. :) Yea! And the Yamaha SA 2200 rocks boy!! 

I wish i could just teleport that guitar off to my room!! It sounds so freaking sweet!! 

Last night i had a dream i made a sale worth $100,000!! Haha!! If only.

May's coming to an end and i hope i could do better for June. Aim's to get one song done with lyrics and achieve better sales. :) Really love my job man. Couldn't ask for more at the moment.

My workmates rock too! Hah!

The boss is still questionable though. As usual.

And you. My bestest friend. I wish you all the best in whatever you decide okay?

I still love you in many different ways. They are certainly treasured. The memories.

:)        :)         :)

Open Doors

I saw you smile today. A real one. And you don't know how happy i am. :)

You have no idea how much your smile means to me. And the glimmer in your eyes are such beauty that really melts me.

I love you like this. Thank you for letting me romance you. Thank you for letting me display my love for you.

:)         :)            :)          :)

I sang a song for you. Leaving it on your voice message. But you forgot you password. It's okay.

Thanks for calling me back. I sang it better knowing you are hearing it. Right there.

Waiting for you to end work today was nostalgic. Thank you for letting me wait. :)

I enjoyed it. Being able to glance at you now and then. Thrills me. Totally. 

I Miss You.

Glimmer

I can't wait for pay day. I seriously can't!! Been pretty much starving lately but thanks to a kind soul who provided me food. :)

I'm trying to think neutral but i can't. I'm sorry. I'm still attracted to you.

I hope someone could just plaster smiles on my face everyday. Like how you did before. 

Ain't gonna say much today. I miss you.

ChuggaChuggaCHugga

Spent the whole day at home cept later in the evening when i went for coffee alone and wrote my emotions down on our journal. Quite a lot really. Though the coffee didn't help my hunger. I tried asking you whether you could get me food. It seems hard. No money. Well, same here. 

Said your mum's cooking and i was happy that you offered me some of 'em. Thanks a lot. Saved my day. 

We promise not to bring up the sensitive subject anymore. And i'll do my bestest best. :)

I hate to talk about it as much as you do. You say it's clearing out. I hope it is to. S'been driving me insane really. Which is where all those rantings came from. 

Band meeting last night kinda went.. okay. Sorry. I wasn't really into it. I told you why. I hate bringing up the incident. Had to. Apologies. Friday it is. Our rebirth. 

Nostalgic? I'm not too sure man. Gotta see how it goes. Hopefully well.

May's ending. Mid-year is here. God damn fast man!! Hope i get to hit my sales target. Bonus!!

Yahoo!! I need inspiration man. Gimme some!! 

Anyway sweetie, 

Till Death Do Us Part.

Arrowed And Nailed

Pretty much chilled out with the new fellas at work today. Cool. With their different perspective in anything we viewed in life. :) A great cuppa nevertheless. 

It's really hard to let a person, especially someone you love so much, go. Despite all the hurt inflicted, i just assured that it would come down to just another obstacle in a relationship.

In love, there's trust, security,intimacy,joy and of course freedom of individual. 

That is why i can't let go. Not that i refuse. I just can't. As i've seen you in all my future dreams and plans. You're practically, perfect in my eyes. I've never loved anyone so much before. And i don't believe i could with another person. And i don't think anyone can really really love you as much as i do. I'm not contemplating anything here. But with all that has happened, i'm sure you know it well sweetheart. 

Sure. You say you know how much i love you. That's true. But, you don't know how much it actually weighs. I could handle the relationship well. It's tough. But it aint a chore. I see you as part of me therefore you are my responsibility too. 

To put it this way, i'll be there when you're sick, happy, sad, confused and every other emotions you're feeling.

One thing i promise is i'll definitely show a lot of affection towards you. As that is what you really need to feel secure and loved. I'm sorry i didn't display much. Now i realised. And it's not too late.

I. Simply. Love. You.

Cheat COdes

Hell-o. 

I wonder what does it take to manage a relationship? Patience? Check. Trust? check. Security? Maybe. HAh. What the hell. Hell it is for me. Wasted? Not really. I treasured the moments for sure. Love is undefined. 

And i can't bear to hate. It's unexplainable why i just can't. I guess that love. True Love for someone really dear. Though it's hard not to get reminded of all the first times and joyous occasions, i guess i should be lucky i was spending those with you and not someone else. 

To picture your smile, it's painful and sad yet at the same time, it brings a smile to me. How weird it is. How weird it is. 

In the past, i never believed in Love. Never ever. Till i met you. Through your charismatic ways, your charming flashes of smiles, your humourous antics your passion for someone you love. It blew me. Blew me past the universe. A whole new world i'd say.

Oh and oh, how i was so foolish. One can't buy time but one can sacrifice time. And i stopped. All of my childish antics to be someone responsible. To protect and to love. Sacrifice. A hell lot.

A hell hell lot. But..it's all totally unconditional. I only expected trust and love in return. 

Yea. Sure. Well..i didn't regret anything. At least now i know i can really handle a relationship. At least she taught me how to show love. Care. Concern. In health, sickness, anger, whatever. 

She taught me that two people in love is pretty much everything you need to end your day with a joyous smile. A hug. A simple kiss. That's pretty much i need at the end of a hard days' at work. 

I love you. I love you. I love you. And you know it. 

Despite all the mistakes you've done.. it's all just mistakes. You're human. With feelings. Everyone has. It's part and parcel of a relationship. I guess? 

But to be hurt over and over again... it takes a lot to swallow it all. I know i did. 

Love for her pulled me through my promotion at work. Love for her made me think of wise decisions. Love for her made my smiles. 

Love for her. Made Me.

Cheat Codes

Hell-o. lalaa