Oh how stella it could have been

First things first.

I. love. you

but you know something ev?
I... am fighting with myself everyday. To just fucking move on.
And that we would just remain bestest friends. And just bestest friends.

Heck. I'm not living in denial that you still love maha. Only that he's not the only one you love right now.
Which not sometimes but always, put me back to the confusion party.

You tell me all the time that i'm 'the one'. And that you can't afford at all cost to lose me.
I feel you. I do.
Well, i'm not pushing you to make an instant decision.
I just hope by the time you really made up your mind, it's not too late.

If you regret the choices you make, you know you'd only have yourself to blame because really, i'm falling away little by little.
My love for you is different you always mention. But i guess you haven't polished the real jewel to it until now. Even after 2 years, you still haven't noticed the diamond in it.

You do notice that our relationship now is much stronger than before. It always takes a mistake or a hurdle to notice things and remind us why we were together in the first place.

I'm amazed at myself really. I'm amazed at how i could still be here for you and doing all these things without feeling any sense of hatred or discomfort or whatever along that line.

I think i'm special.

And you are special too because i can love you in all sorts of ways. And i think it's something only certain individuals possess.

Anyway, i'm sorry.
I think i have fallen for another.
And she's a wonderful person too.

I didn't get a chance to tell you just now.

There's like butterflies in my stomach now.

I'm sorry.

Nevertheless, we shall still stay the same as how we are now.
You're a treasure to me as I am to you.

The song that i'm writing for you is so... i don't know.
It tells about what we went through together and something else at the same time.
I love it. And it's for you.

I hope i could have support from you with me moving on.
I'm so sad now. In fact, i don't really know how i feel. It's not joyful for all i know.

i cherished that dream of us getting married and building a funky family someday.
yes.

Cherished.